6 months

It's 7:15 in the morning and I've been sitting on the beach for an hour and a half. As I was taking pictures of the sunrise there was a father and son and then a mother and son. Separate families but all I saw were parents with their son. A moment I will never have again with you. So I took pictures of each pair and when they walked past again, I asked them if I could send it to them. They let me and I told them why I did it, that I had lost my own son six months ago and seeing them tugged at me. That these memories are important and maybe they will remember them but having that moment captured is even more precious. The mom hugged me, we talked for a moment, had a laugh about momma's boys and they went on their way.

It's the longest I have ever went without hugging you. And I could really use your hug right now. Pretty sure I am driving your brother and sister crazy with the need for hugs and wanting to hold on just a little longer.

I question constantly as to whether this is real or not. Like I am going to wake up one day and you'll be there. Because life doesn't make sense without you.

So much has happened in six months, too, Gabriel. Things that you would scold me over, taken your sister's side on or given your brother so much crap about.

Also things that you would be so happy about. Moments that would have made you laugh so hard we all would have joined in. Including the person you were laughing "with". You were the joy in life and we are all forever changed because of it.

I miss you so much. We all do.